Sunday, August 24, 2008

Responsible actions

We are all grown ups.
We don't need to be told what is good or what is bad rite?
I guess being immature was not part of everyone's plan.
Everybody have their own childishness in them.
Trying to be cute at times.
Craving for attentions kinda thing.
Do lots of non important things.
We will also look for other new things to venture on.
"Experimenting" new stuff.

There's nothing to say I guess anymore.
Nothing interesting to talk about.
Feeling monotonous so soon.
Wow...that was quick.

You just don't know what it means.
Love and infactuation are two different things.
Did I spell that correctly?
Haha...nvr mind lah.
Well set your priorities straight.
Make up your mind.
Be honest.

At least have the cheek to own up.
That is why you must be responsible for your own actions.
Have a sense of urgency or responsibility.
I have only two words here to describe above all matters.
___________ ____________

You figure it out.

Taken from - A journal of life. by xxxxxx xxxx
I hope you don't mind.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Poetic Justice

It all begin with a simple thought.
Trying my best and giving all I've got.
Teaching with fun and not being bored,
all I can think of as I won't stop.

I teach, they learn as time goes by,
Without realizing that time really flies.
I listen to them as what they want to do,
As I made them listen to me too.

Sometimes things really got overboard,
They took advantage of things and those sorts.
Brought them back to where the ground is,
Telling, most times yelling,"can all of you....please!"

It was a point of time that I really had enough,
All those things they said was just a bluff.
Keep on repeating the same advice,
Then they left me with no other choice.

I was practically upset and disturbed emotionally.
Thinking of what I've done wrong initially.
Then I learned that it was not that easy,
Dealing with them, like no sense of responsibility.

But not all were typically that mean to me
Some even show sign of sympathy.
I appreciate those who thinks of others,
Somehow, I hope it does matters.

If only I could make things better,
Oh God, give me the strength like thunder.
Do I really need that, I wonder.
I shall give it another shot, no pressure.

My wish is to make all of them the best,
In no matter what, through time and test.
I hope they let me do it with the time we have,
The is the only time that was left.

Now I can really see the important essence of time,
It waits for no man, it leaves them behind.
On the last day, please don't make me cry,

cry4ubaby@TM2008 anyss.

Dedicated to - SIXJAY2008 - May the force be with you. Hearts.
Shana will understand. Heheh...

Monday, August 11, 2008

And You Were There.

It's been weird lately.
Woke up every single morning for past week feeling low.
Only thinking bout my "Ibu".

She passed away during my "Honeymoon".
Came back to Singapore, all's gone.
Dealt and over with.

Dad chose not to tell me cos not to ruin my holiday.
But on the other hand, it made me really mad and totally upset.
But I understand his action.

All thoughts now running in my head.
How do I overcome it? Well, that's another thing.
Talked to some people thou about it.
People might think it's just some kind of feeling that will actually go away.
But they don't know when!
Yeah! Right!

So I leave it just like that.
Tried to but failed.

So, last month went back home town.
Met up with dad and younger sis.
We went out on a scorching morning.
To be exact it was 9a.m.
Sun was shining really bright piercing through my "shades".
Dad was saying that we're going to "ibu"'s grave.
I was fine with the suggestion but a little nervous.
Don't know why.
It was a long journey and on the way we stopped by the drive thru 'McDonald's'.
Ordered breakfast for all and we continued our journey.
It sounds as if was really that far.
Well it does.
By the time we reached there, sun was burning out the day.
Phew!!! Bought flowers and water as in traditionally paying respect and those proper procedures.
Dad stopped his car, parked at the side and started moving towards the burial ground.
I followed without uttering a single word.
Emotions filled the air suddenly.
I was being really steady.
The moment dad stopped and sat next to the grave, I saw her name written in beautiful translation.
My sis starts clearing dried flowers that was previously sowed on the bed of late Ibu's grave.
Well dad starts his prayers chanting and those stuff.
I followed suit.
Then, when all's done, we sowed fresh, beautiful sweet smelling flowers all over the grave.

I started talking.
To "Ibu", suddenly.
"Ibu, sorry I didn't make it to come back and send you off that time."
Emotions running high.
I continued talking.
Dad was staring towards my direction but was not looking exactly.
He was listening actually to my "conversation" to Ibu.
"Can you let me hug you for the last time as I didn't that time? Please...let me."
Tears rolling down. Dad and sis stood there watching me.
Then later, dad also drop few tears. He looked away.

I apologized to Ibu too.
It's like she was there and understood me.
Giving me the acknowledgment kind of thing.
Why? It started to cool down.
The weather I mean. It was shady suddenly.
Then before I left, I told her to rest in peace as I will always remember her for everything.

I walked away.
I looked back and felt like she's watching me go.
Telling me to take care of myself in people's country.
I don't know, but it felt that way.
Well, I replied her in a way that I will.
The she sent me showers few minutes later after I got in the car.

Dad drove away with some kind of relief from his face.
Maybe he wanted to bring me to visit her for quite some time and now...
...he managed to. I guess.

It was silent all the way till we stopped by to have lunch.
Dad saw my eyes filled with tears again and asked me why.
Told him that we sat exactly the same place when we had a meal together with Ibu that last time
I was back.
"Sorry dad. don't mean to make you sad but it's naturally coming to me."
He stroke my hand and tell me that it was ok.

Back in reality time now, mind flashes lots of things bout Ibu and stuffs.
Was having sleepless nights.
Waking up every single hour of sleep.
Then It made me confessed to write about it here.
And here it is.

It's not just a story.
It's my life.

Dedicated to "Ibu"- My life is worthless compared to yours. As I don't know how to treasure it like you do. It mean the world to me what you had said. I will keep it inside of me as my pathfinder throughout my life. Love and always in my heart, Ibu.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

My Promise

Close your eyes
I'll be there

When you think of me
Everytime, I swear

In your heart
You can feel
I'll be watching you
And you know it's real

Don't you worry for nothing
You will know when it's coming
Don't you ever feeling down
As things will come around

So fast, you wish it was slow
You can't believe it when it's time to go
You wanna stop the time if you're a Genie
Can't be sure if it's making you happy

Don't worry
Or don't be sad
You can do it
And there's no regrets

Be strong
Stand all
And just be cool
Cos no one will take you for a fool

Remember, what I've told you
Never give up in everything you do
With the good and the bad we've been through,
In my heart, I will always think of you..
And that's
my promise to you.

cry4ubaby@TM2008 02AUG
EnIm-Saj- This is for you.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Part of you stays with me even after you go.

He knelt down feeling helpless the moment he heard the news from his 'Blackberry".
Tears rolling down hard like heavy thunder storm on his cheek.
How could this happen, he wondered.
It's impossible!
To his knowledge, it was all fine the last time he saw him.
They were fooling around with each other,eating their favourite food, giggling bout the times they spent together back in the village last vacation.
Sis didn't mention exactly what had happened but somehow, somewhere, deep inside his heart, he knew what had happened.
But he can't accept it, that's all.
The news came unexpected.

A passer by can't help but noticing his sadness as he was passing by.
With no intentions to interrupt but concerned, he ask if he needed help or something.
The helpless guy nodded his head to the passer by.
Helping him up from the kneeling stance and brought him to the nearest seat.
The sadness on his face shows it all that bad news was received earlier and now he was totally upset and unable to continue his next move for the meantime.

In a spur of a moment he was lost.
Thinking it was a dream broad day light!
Sure it was not.
He sighed with big carbon dioxide vapoured his glasses.

All he can think of was death has taken place.
With no sign of mercy, warning or even a clue.

...and he...was me.