THE TRAGIC EPISODE OF MY LIFE...Don't know why? PART 1

It was just another routine day of the week.
Woke up in the morning.
Do some chores.
Got ready for work as fast as I could.
My heart was saying..."need to practice with them for the dance."
Mr bro decided to use the car.
So we asked him to send us to school instead.
On the way, dropped by the bank.

Early to reach school.
So, ate lunch first then got on to "business".
Saw Sha Lin and Sheng Hui, busy carrying stuff for the family day redemption items.
I decided to give them a helping hand by checking the items.
Ms Chan came in too.
She passed me the list and asked me to check if those(pointing at the plastic bag) are the stuff toys.
"Looked like it", I told her.

The bell rang not long after that.
Time for class and made my way to 6Hibiscus.
Suddenly, bout 1.10pm, right before recess, I was perspiring to the MAX!
Feeling all uneasy.
Cold.
Thirsty.
And drenched.
Told Chou Fang to bring my stuff back to my table and went to the teacher's toilet.
I felt like easing myself and strange vomitting felling.
I cleaned up.
Stood up and here it goes.
Blood rush.
The Episode begins...
Suddenly I felt numbness with my hands.
Dizzy.
Things were topsy-turvy when looking at them.
I managed to climb the stairs to the teacher's office but i didn't make it thou.
It was just at the front area.
Where there's sofas.
Eyes were watery and can't open it.
I slowly rest myself on the sofa.The nearest one I could grab.
Perspiration still taking place.
And all I know the next thing was...
...Sonia came and asked me if I was ok...it sounds so vague...I think.
Later, teachers were all around me...I was practically semi-conscious.
Dunno what was going on.
Can hear but too weak to move.
From here, I leave myself to fate.
I even said this to myself that if things go wrong and I can't figure it out, I love you Dawn, till death do us part, Ms Kum and family whose being there always,
mom, dad sis and bro.
Well this one might sound strange... but it's the truth.
I swear.
The other thing I said was...omg! My students! How are they gonna practice!
I've let them down.
No no no...must finish practicing.
I must make it to watch them on Children's Day.
Damn it!
Now I am immobilised!
Then this one I must tell...Mdm Tan(really dunno what to call her in english) came and make sure I didn't pass out. Keeping me awake and talking... I think so.
She was big big help!
I think if I passed out...dunno whats gonna happen. Shish!
What I gather from the facts they(teachers and colleagues) told me after that that I was carried
down to the car. It was Ms Kum's car.
Now comes the part that I will never forget my entire life.
I know I was carried by who(Mr Chan, Mr Soong, Mr Ho and Mr Choi) at that point of time but the things I saw was eerie and scary too.
Seriously I dunno if it was to be said this way or not.
Could it be blessing in disguise or it's time to go...
My heart was beating as normal at that time when I saw it.
I saw features surrounding them with glowing light just like in the shows or movies.
But I can see their faces. They could be human but all of them were white and calm.
Some said that it could guiding angels.... or it could be otherwise.
I was then sent to the hospital.

To be continued...

BETRAYED

Do you believe that we learn something everyday?
Well...yes we do.
Cos I do.
I was actually trying to avoid updating the blog.
Trying not to say what I was supposed to say.
But I believe I have kept it well inside but it had swell, bloated and about to explode.
So, before it explode and hurt myself,
or the people around me,
I better let it go!!!
So, what the heck!

Terrible festive I had.
I've finally found out the true colours of own flesh and blood.
Not to mention who.
But the truth hurts.
The person I think and look up upon to is the TRAITOR!
BETRAYER! SCUMMED! FILTHY! ROTTEN! IMPOSTOR!
(All those words mentioned are not in order just fyi)
Let me cut it short here.
What were you thinking by doing all these things?
Are you getting anywhere to it?
If so, look where are you now?
Are they looking up upon you?
One part is totally pissed and cursed you.
The other is calm but hurt deep inside and still trying not to say it out.
They all packed their bags and left.
I know thats what you want anyway.
You've got it now.
Congrats!
You've succeed!

I was actually saddened by all the remarks and things you've said and trying to prove to people
what I did was wrong.
Hey...guess what?
You ...(thought of swearing but...)
can have it.
I dun care.
You guys deserved each other.
To the two small ones...pity that you have them as guides!
The thing that I've learned was even the very own flesh and blood would kill for glory!
Damn it!
So dun trust people easily.
You, who betrayed me,
I wish good luck. Our ties are dead!

For you who believed and still believe in me,
I thank you.
I wun betray you.
Till I die.

So what!

Holiday Information:-

Where : Cameron Highlands
When : 27th September 2008 - 30th September 2008
Events : Celebrated Bday, Library visit with students.

Where : Singapore
When : 01st October 2008 - 04th October 2008
Event : Celebrating Festive with Families and more families...

Outcome : Money well spent, enjoyed ourselves and ate a lot too...

Conclusion : United we stand, divided we fall... Think happy and be happy. Cheers!

p/s - Grams cooking is still hard to beat!!! "Ayam Masak Merah" da BEST!!!!Awwwww!!!

I Hide and I Cried Out Loud

Past 3 days was splendid.
Learning something new each day.
But this time(29th Sept/Tuesday), it was teaching them to sing .
"I Have A Dream" was the title.
It was for their concert.
Normally they have it just before their year end holidays.
They were highly spirited.
Full of enthusiam too.
I was actually impressed by their passion to sing with "great" reactions.
When I mean great was Fascinated great.
Maybe I was singing or shall I say teaching them to sing well.
They looked at me with such amazement.
Hahaha...but really, I was singing that good.
Yes! I am still good at it.
Taught them the first verse and they seem to manage it pretty well.

The next day was an excursion to the library.
As it was their first time there, excited and curious are the words to describe them.
What do you expect from them?
4 to 6 years of age.
But I can tell how actually they really enjoyed the trip very much after that.
Cos their faces said so!

That night, took a bus down straight to SGP.
Double decker whoah!!!
Journey was smooth.
Slept right thru....
..till the border!

Got changed and picked up by dad.
It was a memorable day as things to remember along the way.
He talked bout the time when things as well prepared those days during the first day of fest.
It was all ready for them.
But now it's different.
He teared with the look of lost.
I felt it.
Sis felt it too. She cried.
DS was there and felt it.
Sis cried too.

Well. I was doing well holding to my tears.
Not later that evening when he sent us back to JWA5.
He was talking bout the same thing.
Only different thoughts of how he fekt lonely and not prepare for all these.
He was mentioning bout how he wanna spend time with the people he love now and be happy only.
Not thinking about anything else cos he wanna GO in peace.
He said bout sis being a third grade citizen if he's gone.
I know my responsibility as a bro.
She is my responsibility.
He mentioned about what he did when he dunno what to do.
He went to her grave and asked for help from her.
Asking for support or showing him some sign of help.
I understand.
So does DS.

I cried out loud.
But I hide.

Love you DaD.
My responsibility is you now.

Moments

Everyday, filled with different moments.
As days gone by,
Time passes really fast.
I wish it stands.
Not move for a bit.
Preciously needed to spend it wisely.
Calling all to take notice that time management...
...Hell yeah! Very important!

Today was filled with moments of endless talking and explaining.
To those who really don't understand, I'll explain.
To those who just couldn't be bothered, I'll explain too.
Listen to the least.
I just want you to do better. That's all.
It's not difficult.
Spare the moment to pay attention and you'll be on your way.
I swear it's not as difficult as it looks.
Put your heart and soul where it belongs and there you go.
Success in your hand!

Its all for the taking.
It belongs to all of you.
No one else.
I am there just to fill in those blanks like a cloze.
The glass which was half- filled, and now fill it up guys.
If it's possible, right to the brim.

For past weeks, periodically, I have shown and gave you all.
And now, *drum roll*....
...all yours!
Good Luck all proteges.
Sincerely, I gave my all.
My knowledge.

These are the Moments.
To be continued...

Lies

Well I know its too good to be true
To think its forever you
Loving you was the only thing to do
But now I'm left with feeling blue

You cheer me up when I'm down
You made me smile when I frown
You held me tight when I'm around
I guess now...I'm just a clown

I can't live the way I used to
Watching you go, broke my heart in two
Girl I know how much I love you
And now you're gone
Just don't know what to do

There's another guy I know
Even thou you didn't show
If you could just tell me straight
I know it's hard for whatever it takes

How will i know I wasn't ready for this
Even thou I tried to resist
Then I realised it was all meant to be
Letting you go is to set me free

All you'd given me was shattering dreams
Hope my love for you will slowly die
So I just don't know what tomorrow will bring
But I know from you will be only lies.

cry4ubaby@TM2008 anyss.
Fyi - it's only lyrics not meant for anyone or from anyone.
Dedicated to my BROsssss!!!
You know who you are...Not 1 but many.Heheh...

Responsible actions

We are all grown ups.
We don't need to be told what is good or what is bad rite?
I guess being immature was not part of everyone's plan.
Everybody have their own childishness in them.
Trying to be cute at times.
Craving for attentions kinda thing.
Do lots of non important things.
We will also look for other new things to venture on.
"Experimenting" new stuff.

There's nothing to say I guess anymore.
Nothing interesting to talk about.
Feeling monotonous so soon.
Wow...that was quick.

You just don't know what it means.
Love and infactuation are two different things.
Did I spell that correctly?
Haha...nvr mind lah.
Well set your priorities straight.
Make up your mind.
Be honest.

At least have the cheek to own up.
That is why you must be responsible for your own actions.
Have a sense of urgency or responsibility.
I have only two words here to describe above all matters.
___________ ____________

You figure it out.

Taken from - A journal of life. by xxxxxx xxxx
I hope you don't mind.

Poetic Justice

It all begin with a simple thought.
Trying my best and giving all I've got.
Teaching with fun and not being bored,
all I can think of as I won't stop.

I teach, they learn as time goes by,
Without realizing that time really flies.
I listen to them as what they want to do,
As I made them listen to me too.

Sometimes things really got overboard,
They took advantage of things and those sorts.
Brought them back to where the ground is,
Telling, most times yelling,"can all of you....please!"

It was a point of time that I really had enough,
All those things they said was just a bluff.
Keep on repeating the same advice,
Then they left me with no other choice.

I was practically upset and disturbed emotionally.
Thinking of what I've done wrong initially.
Then I learned that it was not that easy,
Dealing with them, like no sense of responsibility.

But not all were typically that mean to me
Some even show sign of sympathy.
I appreciate those who thinks of others,
Somehow, I hope it does matters.

If only I could make things better,
Oh God, give me the strength like thunder.
Do I really need that, I wonder.
I shall give it another shot, no pressure.

My wish is to make all of them the best,
In no matter what, through time and test.
I hope they let me do it with the time we have,
The is the only time that was left.

Now I can really see the important essence of time,
It waits for no man, it leaves them behind.
On the last day, please don't make me cry,
Cos I am NOT READY FOR GOODBYE...

cry4ubaby@TM2008 anyss.

Dedicated to - SIXJAY2008 - May the force be with you. Hearts.
Shana will understand. Heheh...