Moments

Everyday, filled with different moments.
As days gone by,
Time passes really fast.
I wish it stands.
Not move for a bit.
Preciously needed to spend it wisely.
Calling all to take notice that time management...
...Hell yeah! Very important!

Today was filled with moments of endless talking and explaining.
To those who really don't understand, I'll explain.
To those who just couldn't be bothered, I'll explain too.
Listen to the least.
I just want you to do better. That's all.
It's not difficult.
Spare the moment to pay attention and you'll be on your way.
I swear it's not as difficult as it looks.
Put your heart and soul where it belongs and there you go.
Success in your hand!

Its all for the taking.
It belongs to all of you.
No one else.
I am there just to fill in those blanks like a cloze.
The glass which was half- filled, and now fill it up guys.
If it's possible, right to the brim.

For past weeks, periodically, I have shown and gave you all.
And now, *drum roll*....
...all yours!
Good Luck all proteges.
Sincerely, I gave my all.
My knowledge.

These are the Moments.
To be continued...

Lies

Well I know its too good to be true
To think its forever you
Loving you was the only thing to do
But now I'm left with feeling blue

You cheer me up when I'm down
You made me smile when I frown
You held me tight when I'm around
I guess now...I'm just a clown

I can't live the way I used to
Watching you go, broke my heart in two
Girl I know how much I love you
And now you're gone
Just don't know what to do

There's another guy I know
Even thou you didn't show
If you could just tell me straight
I know it's hard for whatever it takes

How will i know I wasn't ready for this
Even thou I tried to resist
Then I realised it was all meant to be
Letting you go is to set me free

All you'd given me was shattering dreams
Hope my love for you will slowly die
So I just don't know what tomorrow will bring
But I know from you will be only lies.

cry4ubaby@TM2008 anyss.
Fyi - it's only lyrics not meant for anyone or from anyone.
Dedicated to my BROsssss!!!
You know who you are...Not 1 but many.Heheh...

Responsible actions

We are all grown ups.
We don't need to be told what is good or what is bad rite?
I guess being immature was not part of everyone's plan.
Everybody have their own childishness in them.
Trying to be cute at times.
Craving for attentions kinda thing.
Do lots of non important things.
We will also look for other new things to venture on.
"Experimenting" new stuff.

There's nothing to say I guess anymore.
Nothing interesting to talk about.
Feeling monotonous so soon.
Wow...that was quick.

You just don't know what it means.
Love and infactuation are two different things.
Did I spell that correctly?
Haha...nvr mind lah.
Well set your priorities straight.
Make up your mind.
Be honest.

At least have the cheek to own up.
That is why you must be responsible for your own actions.
Have a sense of urgency or responsibility.
I have only two words here to describe above all matters.
___________ ____________

You figure it out.

Taken from - A journal of life. by xxxxxx xxxx
I hope you don't mind.

Poetic Justice

It all begin with a simple thought.
Trying my best and giving all I've got.
Teaching with fun and not being bored,
all I can think of as I won't stop.

I teach, they learn as time goes by,
Without realizing that time really flies.
I listen to them as what they want to do,
As I made them listen to me too.

Sometimes things really got overboard,
They took advantage of things and those sorts.
Brought them back to where the ground is,
Telling, most times yelling,"can all of you....please!"

It was a point of time that I really had enough,
All those things they said was just a bluff.
Keep on repeating the same advice,
Then they left me with no other choice.

I was practically upset and disturbed emotionally.
Thinking of what I've done wrong initially.
Then I learned that it was not that easy,
Dealing with them, like no sense of responsibility.

But not all were typically that mean to me
Some even show sign of sympathy.
I appreciate those who thinks of others,
Somehow, I hope it does matters.

If only I could make things better,
Oh God, give me the strength like thunder.
Do I really need that, I wonder.
I shall give it another shot, no pressure.

My wish is to make all of them the best,
In no matter what, through time and test.
I hope they let me do it with the time we have,
The is the only time that was left.

Now I can really see the important essence of time,
It waits for no man, it leaves them behind.
On the last day, please don't make me cry,
Cos I am NOT READY FOR GOODBYE...

cry4ubaby@TM2008 anyss.

Dedicated to - SIXJAY2008 - May the force be with you. Hearts.
Shana will understand. Heheh...

And You Were There.

It's been weird lately.
Woke up every single morning for past week feeling low.
Only thinking bout my "Ibu".

She passed away during my "Honeymoon".
Came back to Singapore, all's gone.
Dealt and over with.

Dad chose not to tell me cos not to ruin my holiday.
But on the other hand, it made me really mad and totally upset.
But I understand his action.

All thoughts now running in my head.
How do I overcome it? Well, that's another thing.
Talked to some people thou about it.
People might think it's just some kind of feeling that will actually go away.
But they don't know when!
Yeah! Right!

So I leave it just like that.
Tried to but failed.

So, last month went back home town.
Met up with dad and younger sis.
We went out on a scorching morning.
To be exact it was 9a.m.
Sun was shining really bright piercing through my "shades".
Dad was saying that we're going to "ibu"'s grave.
I was fine with the suggestion but a little nervous.
Don't know why.
It was a long journey and on the way we stopped by the drive thru 'McDonald's'.
Ordered breakfast for all and we continued our journey.
It sounds as if was really that far.
Well it does.
By the time we reached there, sun was burning out the day.
Phew!!! Bought flowers and water as in traditionally paying respect and those proper procedures.
Dad stopped his car, parked at the side and started moving towards the burial ground.
I followed without uttering a single word.
Emotions filled the air suddenly.
I was being really steady.
The moment dad stopped and sat next to the grave, I saw her name written in beautiful translation.
My sis starts clearing dried flowers that was previously sowed on the bed of late Ibu's grave.
Well dad starts his prayers chanting and those stuff.
I followed suit.
Then, when all's done, we sowed fresh, beautiful sweet smelling flowers all over the grave.

I started talking.
To "Ibu", suddenly.
"Ibu, sorry I didn't make it to come back and send you off that time."
Emotions running high.
I continued talking.
Dad was staring towards my direction but was not looking exactly.
He was listening actually to my "conversation" to Ibu.
"Can you let me hug you for the last time as I didn't that time? Please...let me."
Tears rolling down. Dad and sis stood there watching me.
Then later, dad also drop few tears. He looked away.

I apologized to Ibu too.
It's like she was there and understood me.
Giving me the acknowledgment kind of thing.
Why? It started to cool down.
The weather I mean. It was shady suddenly.
Then before I left, I told her to rest in peace as I will always remember her for everything.

I walked away.
I looked back and felt like she's watching me go.
Telling me to take care of myself in people's country.
I don't know, but it felt that way.
Well, I replied her in a way that I will.
The she sent me showers few minutes later after I got in the car.

Dad drove away with some kind of relief from his face.
Maybe he wanted to bring me to visit her for quite some time and now...
...he managed to. I guess.

It was silent all the way till we stopped by to have lunch.
Dad saw my eyes filled with tears again and asked me why.
Told him that we sat exactly the same place when we had a meal together with Ibu that last time
I was back.
"Sorry dad. don't mean to make you sad but it's naturally coming to me."
He stroke my hand and tell me that it was ok.

Back in reality time now, mind flashes lots of things bout Ibu and stuffs.
Was having sleepless nights.
Waking up every single hour of sleep.
Then It made me confessed to write about it here.
And here it is.

It's not just a story.
It's my life.

Dedicated to "Ibu"- My life is worthless compared to yours. As I don't know how to treasure it like you do. It mean the world to me what you had said. I will keep it inside of me as my pathfinder throughout my life. Love and always in my heart, Ibu.

My Promise

Close your eyes
I'll be there
When you think of me
Everytime, I swear

In your heart
You can feel
I'll be watching you
And you know it's real

Don't you worry for nothing
You will know when it's coming
Don't you ever feeling down
As things will come around

So fast, you wish it was slow
You can't believe it when it's time to go
You wanna stop the time if you're a Genie
Can't be sure if it's making you happy

Don't worry
Or don't be sad
You can do it
And there's no regrets

Be strong
Stand all
And just be cool
Cos no one will take you for a fool

Remember, what I've told you
Never give up in everything you do
With the good and the bad we've been through,
In my heart, I will always think of you..
And that's my promise to you.

cry4ubaby@TM2008 02AUG
EnIm-Saj- This is for you.

Part of you stays with me even after you go.

He knelt down feeling helpless the moment he heard the news from his 'Blackberry".
Tears rolling down hard like heavy thunder storm on his cheek.
How could this happen, he wondered.
It's impossible!
To his knowledge, it was all fine the last time he saw him.
They were fooling around with each other,eating their favourite food, giggling bout the times they spent together back in the village last vacation.
Sis didn't mention exactly what had happened but somehow, somewhere, deep inside his heart, he knew what had happened.
But he can't accept it, that's all.
The news came unexpected.

A passer by can't help but noticing his sadness as he was passing by.
With no intentions to interrupt but concerned, he ask if he needed help or something.
The helpless guy nodded his head to the passer by.
Helping him up from the kneeling stance and brought him to the nearest seat.
The sadness on his face shows it all that bad news was received earlier and now he was totally upset and unable to continue his next move for the meantime.

In a spur of a moment he was lost.
Thinking it was a dream broad day light!
Sure it was not.
He sighed with big carbon dioxide vapoured his glasses.

All he can think of was death has taken place.
With no sign of mercy, warning or even a clue.

...and he...was me.

Thought I've Died and Gone To Heaven

It's like you've heard before the title of my 'cry' rite?
Yes, you're right.
It's from Bryan Adams the famous artist musician.

This is written with so much sadness and pain with a hole in my heart.
Written for special people whom I chose myself with great confidence.
Believing still, that they are somewhat special.
But I didn't fell from the top of building.
I fell flat on my face.
I was actually been lifted up high without knowing it.
Was adored somehow.Maybe. with a little knowledge of it.
Was taken advantage of at some point. Which I knew but I chose to ignore.
Deliberately. Again and again and again.
For something I believed and treasured most when in doing my job as an educator,
trying to mould, guide, inspire, motivate or even teach.
Which I know now that I did not manage to do so.
Cause I was let go to fall flat on My face with no mercy.

I was upset on my way.
Thinking where did I go wrong.
I wonder...
I ponder for awhile.
Than it came up to...
Let it go.
I have to let it go.
None of this is anyone's fault.
Never will I think that way.
Not even my very own close one telling me what to do.
Cause they know.

Thank you for comforting me.
I really do appreciate it.
I am not angry but it's over now.
Let's move on and start anew.

Let's begin with good luck and best wishes to all.
Hopefully see better results.
Oh not to worry ok.
Forgotten and all's forgiven.
(speaking from deep inside trying hard to make myself feel better)

But honestly, I meant it.
About forgiving.
But won't be forgotten.
I think you will agree Shana?

I went through the day with lotsa thinking and headaches.
Overcoming it was tough.
It's been a long time since migraine attack.
And it's all coming back to me now. Today!
Cursing and swearing myself for what I have gotten into this mess making it worse than ever.

I know some of you still think that it is lame or petty for me.
As if asking for sympathy kinda thing.
Well let me tell you this!
I am only human.
Feeling how I felt was natural.
And not even World War 3 can stop it.

With much regrets and upsets or shall I say disappointments,
I end this with a feeling that Thought I've Died And Gone To...

I let you complete the sentence then as what it should be.
I thank you all.